DADT Repealed: It Is Time To Take Names

DADT Repealed: It Is Time To Take Names
DECEMBER 18, 2010 | THEYSAID
By Joseph Christopher Rocha

(From: http://hsss.tv/archives/1350)


It took 17 years for the United States Congress to decide that our gay and lesbian service-members are equal human beings to their straight counterparts. Yet, still 206 members of Congress voted against this.

It is time to take names.

Many of these 206 members of Congress who voted against valuing our gay troops blood and sacrifice as equal to their straight counterparts feared that repealing DADT would lead to an avalanche of gay rights across this Country. I expect nothing less.

It is veterans who won this battle. Many honorable organizations undoubtedly provided the outlet and tiresome behind-the-scenes work, but as we saw in 1993, that was not enough. I am confident that in the spirit of Harvey Milk’s cry of “you must come out,” it was our veterans’ willingness to brave the scrutiny of the media and the opposition that got us to this historic day. They selflessly lent their face to this movement.

No longer could the lies and hatred of Senator’s like McCain and Representatives like Duncan Jr. carry any weight against the courageous faces, stories, lives and sacrifice of this community’s veterans.

As the years go by and we see honorable gay men and women ascend the ranks of every branch of our Armed Forces, we will see the final deterioration of bigotry across this land. When someone dare say we are not equally entitled to marriage or job protection, a little girl or a little boy will one day soon stand up in protest and say “Gays are military Heroes!”

And how, might I ask, will the opposition to equality dare say that our men and women in uniform – and their families – have not earned equality? It is time to take names.

I refuse to have my young siblings, the children of my straight friends and hopefully, one day, children of my own, grow up in a country that sponsors and upholds institutionalized discrimination. Today, the will of this Nation, the cry for liberty, was manifested in law. We will see to it, through our votes, through our financing and through the support of the allies of equality across this nation, that each one of the 206 members who voted against Repeal LOSE THEIR NEXT ELECTIONS.

You see, a vote against repeal is not a vote against the gay community alone. It is an attack against the minority. Today, it is the gay population. Tomorrow, it could be you.

It is time to take names.

Earlier this year, I was honored to have testified in the Federal Court Challenge to the constitutionality of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. We won that case. We won that case before a conservative, “no nonsense” Judge because our case, the case for equality, is supported by Justice. Let there be no mistake, the 206 members of Congress who voted against equality have waged war on the United States Constitution and the protections guaranteed within.

It is time to take names.

Susan B Anthony. Dr. Martin Luther King. Harvey Milk. These legendary men and women dedicated their lives to equality and did not live to see it to fruition. Let’s rejoice, that we are their living legacy and today guaranteed that we will live to see the dawn of equality. I am asked in every media interview why I would serve once more in uniform after I was treated like an animal by my superiors while serving overseas. I respond the same every time: those men and women who abused me are not representative of the military I love, nor of the values of this country for which I will give my life.

Today, so many of us will prepare to put back on those uniforms.

Today, 206 members of Congress voted to disgrace our beloved nation. Please, take note:

United States Senators Who Voted Against Repeal

Alexander (R-TN)

Barrasso (R-WY)

Bennett (R-UT)

Bond (R-MO)

Brownback (R-KS)

Chambliss (R-GA)

Coburn (R-OK)

Cochran (R-MS)

Corker (R-TN)

Cornyn (R-TX)

Crapo (R-ID)

DeMint (R-SC)

Enzi (R-WY)

Graham (R-SC)

Grassley (R-IA)

Hutchison (R-TX)

Inhofe (R-OK)

Isakson (R-GA)

Johanns (R-NE)

Kyl (R-AZ)

LeMieux (R-FL)

Lugar (R-IN)

McCain (R-AZ)

McConnell (R-KY)

Risch (R-ID)

Roberts (R-KS)

Sessions (R-AL)

Shelby (R-AL)

Thune (R-SD)

Vitter (R-LA)

Wicker (R-MS)

Senators not willing to be bothered with a vote:

Bunning (R-KY)

Gregg (R-NH)

Hatch (R-UT)

Manchin (D-WV)

United States Representatives Who Voted Against Repeal:

Aderholt

Akin

Alexander

Austria

Bachmann

Bachus

Bartlett

Barton (TX)

Biggert

Bilbray

Bilirakis

Bishop (UT)

Blackburn

Blunt

Boehner

Bonner

Bono Mack

Boozman

Boustany

Brady (TX)

Bright

Broun (GA)

Brown-Waite, Ginny

Buchanan

Burgess

Burton (IN)

Buyer

Calvert

Camp

Campbell

Cantor

Cao

Capito

Carter

Cassidy

Castle

Chaffetz

Coble

Coffman (CO)

Cole

Conaway

Crenshaw

Culberson

Dahlkemper

Davis (KY)

Dent

Diaz-Balart, L.

Diaz-Balart, M.

Djou

Dreier

Duncan

Ehlers

Emerson

Fallin

Flake

Fleming

Forbes

Fortenberry

Foxx

Franks (AZ)

Frelinghuysen

Gallegly

Garrett (NJ)

Gerlach

Giffords

Gingrey (GA)

Gohmert

Goodlatte

Granger

Graves (GA)

Graves (MO)

Griffith

Guthrie

Hall (TX)

Harper

Hastings (WA)

Heller

Hensarling

Herger

Hunter

Issa

Jenkins

Johnson (IL)

Johnson, Sam

Jones

Jordan (OH)

King (IA)

King (NY)

Kingston

Kirk

Kline (MN)

Kratovil

Lamborn

Lance

Latham

LaTourette

Latta

Lee (NY)

Lewis (CA)

Linder

LoBiondo

Lucas

Luetkemeyer

Lummis

Lungren, Daniel E.

Mack

Manzullo

Marchant

McCarthy (CA)

McCaul

McClintock

McCotter

McHenry

McKeon

McMorris

Mica

Miller (FL)

Miller (MI)

Miller, Gary

Minnick

Mitchell

Moran (KS)

Murphy, Tim

Myrick

Neugebauer

Nunes

Nye

Olson

Paul

Paulsen

Pence

Petri

Pitts

Platts

Poe (TX)

Posey

Price (GA)

Putnam

Radanovich

Rehberg

Reichert

Roe (TN)

Rogers (AL)

Rogers (KY)

Rogers (MI)

Rohrabacher

Rooney

Ros-Lehtinen

Roskam

Royce

Ryan (WI)

Scalise

Schmidt

Schock

Sensenbrenner

Sessions

Shadegg

Shimkus

Shuster

Simpson

Smith (NE)

Smith (NJ)

Smith (TX)

Stearns

Sullivan

Terry

Thompson (PA)

Thornberry

Tiahrt

Tiberi

Turner

Upton

Walden

Westmoreland

Whitfield

Wilson (SC)

Wittman

Wolf

Young (AK)

Representatives not willing to be bothered with a vote:

Barrett (SC)

Brown (SC)

Childers

Gutierrez

Hoekstra

Inglis

Kirkpatrick (AZ)

Meek (FL)

Moore (WI)

Taylor

Wamp

Young (FL)

Today in Weight Watchers

Not a bad day, all things considered...

Creating Value with a Bad Day on Weight Watchers

Let's just say my daily points total allowed is 51. My number for yesterday is divisible by 51. Fresh start today!

31 Miles of Bad Road...

Last night I had a long conversation with my dear friend Meghann about food and my relationship with food. I started recounting for her many of the binge episodes of eating that make my past look like a littered free way in Jersey. Poor simile.

It's true though. Food has been in abundance and an indulgence for most of my life. As a boy, my parents did nothing to control what I ate, how much I ate, how fast I ate. To the contrary, they provided excessive amounts of food, prepared excessively heavy and indulgent meals, and brought me in as an accomplice in their hidden eating rituals.

Meghann had a brilliant insight for me. It may be that I associate food, indulgence, excessive eating with a safe and consistent family that I perceived I had as a boy. At twelve years old it seems that our family began to fall apart. Mom and dad fought more often yet went out of town a lot more often too, leaving me and my middle sister at home, alone. My father and I fought all the time too. My mom died when I was 21 and if I hadn't already, that marked the loss of my family.

Today, I overeat when I feel bored or alone or unsupported. Or sad. And sometimes I truly don't know why I overeat. I can be screaming in my head, begging myself to stop as I order that donut, cut that piece of cake, eat that sleeve of Fig Newtons, order the entire pizza, large milkshake. But I don't stop. And I can just as easily forget I over did it yesterday when I order again today.

I mentioned before that I've never fit in or felt like I fit in. I am guarded. Self reliant. And often feel alone. And to move away from sadness and loss, I eat. I need to stop or I will die sooner than I would like.

I am a damn good therapist and I will only get better and yet I hold myself to this standard that because I am a therapist I should have this shit figured out. Well, I don't.

I want to be healthy. I want to be proud of my body. I want to enjoy food, not engulf it.

Today's WW report is not all that hopeful, but I am keeping my promise to myself to post every day.

Excuse me, have you heard of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo?

Dear Self -

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Repeat this phrase. It does not matter if you believe in it or not, just repeat it. Try it for about 10 minutes in the morning and evening, every day for 10 days. You will notice a significant shift in your life condition.

Love,

Brad

Creating Value with Weight Watchers...

You may or may not know that I come from a family that has not just struggled with weight, but has suffered significant health problems due to obesity.

I have fought tooth and nail to not become obese, but I've always carried extra weight and I knew that it would get no easier once I hit my 30s. Well, am approaching 32. The time has come (once again - NEVER GIVE UP) to try again.

The Creating Value with What Is aspect of this is as follows: because of my possibly inherited genetic predisposition to weight gain and my certainly inherited attitudes and behaviors around food, I have this wonderful opportunity to not only transform my realities with food, but also stop this karmic chain in my family with me!

I can change karma going 7 generations back and 7 generations forward! Think about it! When I am successful with this challenge, I will not only set up my own children with better habits around food, but I have also changed the consequences of the actions of my parents, grandparents, and so on!

So about two months ago, I found out that my work would be subsidizing Weight Watchers for anyone who was interested. I tried WW before with relative success, but I always found a way around the plan. I decided to give it another shot.

As expected, I am the one male in a room of about 20 females in the WW meeting. This doesn't cause me too much problem and I am used to being the only male around. But the thing is, we're in week 6 or so and I have GAINED 5 pounds. WTF!

It's not a big surprise. I love sweets and given my current stressors, I've been coping with food.

I am framing this as an experiment. I am going to post my daily foods and points, along with weekly weigh-ins to Creating Value with What Is to attempt to maintain compliance.

My goal is to lose 40 pounds, which would take me to 195. At a safe rate of 2 pounds per week, I can do this is 20 weeks. I can do this! I will do this.

And for the record, this is not about vanity. This is about health. My mother died at 54. I have 23 years to prepare my body to live 46 more years than she did.

Now you may or may not be interested in my weight loss challenge, but my hope is that your imagined interest will help me to hold myself accountable!

Good Radiation....NPR Junkie....

Yes, it's true. I only listen to NPR. Since I was 15. That's 16 years of NPR. In 6 different cities.

But lately listening to NPR arouses anxiety and encourages depression, for me. NPR is so frustratingly transparent. NPR is so mostly unbiased and/or biased with awareness. NPR is straightforward, creative, provocative, interesting, stirring.....

Sometimes, I wish I could just be a numbed out FOX viewer. It's on at the gym and the laundromat (all 4 laundromats that I've tried in the area; is there something about FOX and public laundry?). I try. I really do. And some of the anchors are attractive. But I just cannot drink the cool-aid.

So maybe the answer for me is to tune out altogether. People who have no awareness of current events seem happy. Right?

The self imposed pressure of needing to seek resolution to the world's problems is getting to me. I wish I could just lighten up! Both the being so damn serious and the wishing I could lighten up are what is. So again, how do I create value?

Self centered again. Is it unavoidable? Paradoxically, more often than not I need to be more focused on my health and wellness, more self centered.

Listen to the rap. It's really good.

A Buddha Just As I Am....

This might sound funny, but I am just beginning to realize the extent to which I have never felt like I belong. Anywhere.

And I know that people who know me well would say, "What the hell are you talking about?"

I take on leadership positions, always have, in part as a way to guarantee that I fit in. But even that is no guarantee. I am warmly received in many communities and have true friends across the world. And yet when I depart I wonder if I am hated.

I'm always wondering if I am okay, am I cool enough, am I dressed correctly, is the pitch of my voice appropriate, do I look like I know where I am going in the subway, if I choose this kind of sandwich over that kind will I be wrong?

Honestly, it is pervasive and long standing. It is an exhausting routine.

Is it narcissistic? Yes. Is it healthy narcissism? To a point.

From a Nichiren Buddhist standpoint, an individual is a Buddha just as he or she is. That is to say, becoming a Buddha or manifesting Buddhahood is no more complicated than being fully and completely who you are.

(As a side note, I cannot stand when people speak in the 2nd person to express their own experience. So allow me to re-express the above paragraph)

From a Nichiren Buddhist standpoint, I am a Buddha just as I am. That is to say, becoming a Buddha or manifesting Buddhahood is no more complicated than being fully and completely who I am.

Sometimes I get a bit to analytical. I wonder does being who I am include the part of me that is always wondering if I am okay? If so, then I am living fully! But maybe being who I am means polishing my life so sincerely that I can be fully confident with myself even when I am not okay, not dressed correctly, not using my natural voice, not sure where I am going, not ordering the right sandwich.

So if I am to truly live my Buddhist practice, starting here and now, I want to value who I am at all times.

"The Lotus Sutra explains that Buddhahood is already present in all life. It teaches absolute equality and emphasizes that even within the life of a person apparently dominated by evil, there exists the unpolished jewel of the Buddha nature. No one else gives it to us or judges whether we 'deserve' it."

Stutter, pause...

I am afraid. What if I cannot do it? Nearly 13 years of Buddhist practice has taught me that nothing is impossible, eventually. Realizing the impossible, facing my deepest fears, scaling the most daunting peeks, takes tenacious determination and patience. Bravery is not the absence of fear, but the determination to overcome fear.

I am a Buddha. I am fully and one hundred percent Brad. Only I can fulfill the unique mission that only I can fulfill. To create value as I am.

What am I trying to say here?

That same English teacher who described me as a life long learner also used to say, "There is nothing new under the sun." This has bothered me just as much as her compliment encouraged me. Even in writing this blog I wonder what new can I possibly be doing. But once in a while I get a glimpse of the idea that I am new. And so is everyone else. By revealing my Buddhahood today and tomorrow, I am on the cutting edge of new!

So this leads me to the possibility that I do not need to fit in. I just need to continue graciously being myself.

(God this was self indulgent)

Anger...

I've always had a difficult time with anger. Scratch that. I've had a difficult time expressing anger in a way that creates value.

As a young boy, my uncle recently took pleasure in reminding me, I was known to have a temper tantrum...or two...or four.

My recollection of these episodes paints a picture of young boy who did not know how to express anger so it came out in yelling and screaming and twirling (even in my temper I couldn't resist a gay flare!). In response I was sent to my room for a period of about 20 minutes and then joined in my room by a male parent who used his belt to "get your attention" and then tell me he did it because he loved me. I am fairly certain this is how I learned to retroflect* my anger (a-la-CVWWI).

As an adult I've used food to swallow my anger. I must have had a lot of anger because over the years I have swallowed a boat load of food. I am by no means alone in this creative adjustment, but alone I have often felt.

*RETROFLECTION (doing to myself what I want to do to you, but fear the consequences. For instance, I want to strangle you so I choke myself. I want to give you a box of chocolates but I'm afraid you'll spurn me so I eat them myself.

Lately and presently, I am angry. However, I am determined to create value with my anger.

If you've been a friend on Facebook, you've seen my unrelenting posts about all of the recent suicides of young LGBT people or those perceived to be LGBT, the hateful rhetoric from church and government leaders, and DADT and DOMA. I have refused to not post on these issues but I also understood it is inevitable that my posts would slow and then trickle and then stop. They have.

This near-obsessive posting has been the only way I have been able to express my anger about how these issues are being debated.

I am screaming.

Even this primarily positive spot on MSNBC (positive in that it generally supports us homosexuals) makes me crazy. Gay men (woman are generally left behind of the homosexual debates which is infuriating in and of itself) and queers in general have been and continue to be folly for news agencies, many religions, and politicians and mostly with self-aggrandizing motives.

Here and now, as I write this, I am experiencing that stutter, pause, stop. There are so many aspects to the lunacy, hypocrisy, evil, hatred, and idiocy of this debate. A public debate about the dignity, value, respect and right to live an honest life! Seriously? Yes.

So how do I create value with this anger?

My impulse is to say, "I don't know." Start a blog. But really, what does that accomplish? A well rehearsed choir.

Speak up! Well, these days, when everyone has a bull horn no one is heard.

Chant daimoku*! One approach that I have plenty of experience with both in the way of seeing positive results and avoiding until the crisis moment. That's not enough! I'm not enough to make meaningful change happen. Oh. That's an important realization.

I do not believe I will resolve this question/determination in this post. But I will continue to seek in my anger. Maybe that is how I will create value, in the seeking.

*Daimoku [題目] ( Jpn) (1) The title of a sutra, in particular the title of the Lotus Sutra of the Wonderful Law (Chin Miao-fa-lien-hua-ching; JpnMyoho-renge-kyo ). The title of a sutra represents the essence of the sutra. Miao-lo (711-782) says in The Annotations on "The Words and Phrases of the Lotus Sutra," "When for the sake of brevity one mentions only the daimoku, or title, the entire sutra is by implication included therein." (2) The invocation of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo in Nichiren's teachings. One of his Three Great Secret Laws.

Starting Here, Starting Now...

There are many motivating factors that have contributed to my starting this blog. For a long while I've considered starting a blog and did not do it. In the spirit of Creating Value with What Is (CVWWI) I knew that at some point I would take to beginning.

I generally do better in conversation. My ideas get response, my words have time to form and there is a bit more in the way of bio-feedback. Writing to my computer causes me to pause and then stall and then give up. I am determined to continue even in the pause and stalls.

I need to improve my skills of writing. So I welcome any and all critique of content or form. I want to develop my writing skills because I have so many ideas and I want to write a book someday. I am far more elegant speaker than writer, but I do not want to leave it at that.

My writing may be all over the place, without much rhyme or reason at first. Again, this is the idea for me behind CVWWI. For a long while I've been convincing myself that I will write when I feel that i am a better writer. Well, I can only become a better writer by writing as a bad or even mediocre writer.

By reading my work and offering critique, flames, response in general, my writing skills will improve via crowd sourcing.

The idea of CVWWI comes from my spiritual practice of SGI Buddhism and professional practice of Gestalt Therapy. I'll write more about these in detail in the near future. I have so many ideas about how these two passions can be mutually supportive. Again, when I am ready...

Does this idea of CVWWI mean that I don't take action to change my present circumstances? Of course not, but it is an easy loophole to get stuck in. CVWWI is simply a starting point, but one that often gets missed.

In posts to come I will talk about what Creating Value means and then what What Is means. I'll probably write about other topics too.

I like metaphors. I like dumping out the current moment contents of my mind and then arranging them into a coherent collage. Now I am not sure if that constitutes a metaphor. More to learn.

My high school English teacher, Ms. Vernacchio, described me as Edison's Life Long Learner. I've always held that as one of the highest praise I have ever received. I have so much to learn.

I am determined to create value with what is. What is right now might not be all that interesting to you and yet that lack of interest is what is.

So I've finally started this blog. Nice work.

Okay, so I almost published this post and then got scared. I want you to know that this blog will be a mix of commentary on current events that are of interest to me, a place for me to share the musings of my mind, and a place for me to discover what this place becomes. What I want most of all is honest response, which obviously can include no response at all.